Thursday, February 03, 2005
Fuck This Movie
I thought--well, I liked the other film Weir directed with Ford starring, namely
so why not try Mosquito Coast? I'll tell you why not: the film should end promptly at 1hr 22 minutes, but goes in excess of 2 hours, and the entire time I wanted Ford's character to die horribly (he plays an Ayn Rand idealist) because he's insipid and loathsome, and that particular satisfaction is delayed far beyond tolerance. Fine performances by Helen Mirren and River Phoenix can't save this turd. Were this film a confection it would be one of those finger cookies I brought back from the Philippines: looks like a light cookie, smells like a 'nilla wafer, and tastes like open ass. Fuck this movie.
Much better, but still not so hot is another Netflix delivery:
I haven't seen the entire thing yet, but so far I'm a bit disappointed. There are a couple charming vignettes featuring old witches and claymation demons, not to mention some enchanting early nude scenes, but too much time is spent showing still images from old books with tedius and obvious text in between (a very didactic silent film, almost like an elementary school filmstrip). The upbeat classical score doesn't lend itself well to torture and sorcery. The best thing about Haxan so far is its cheeky nudge nudge, wink wink attitude (for example, the camera lovingly pauses over an etching of a beautiful young "witch" condemned to die and hog-tied nude while Schubert tinkles keys in the background). There's a cute scene where a houseservant gets a love potion to seduce her boss--a pious monk--plenty of yucks there!
More after I finish--there's also an updated re-release of the film with narration by William S. Burroughs and music by Jean Luc Ponty on the DVD; perhaps worth a gander.
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3 comments:
I have "Haxan" on my Netflix list as well (I am obsessed with other people's Netflix lists, so if you ever publish it, I will take the time to read and criticize it). I had never heard of it, but figure if Criterion releases something, it will at least be worth a look (even if they did do a special edition of Armageddon, for pity sake).
I cannot cope with Harrison Ford, so no worries of "Mosquito Coast" wasting electricity in this house. "Six Days and Seven Nights", or whatever the fucking hell it was called, was quite enough. He walks through every movie with this "who...ME?" expression on his puss, then deposits $10 million. Die already.
Frantic.
Never saw Frantic--Polanski, right?
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