Tuesday, March 29, 2005


Dear Valued Customer,

Thank you for contacting us at Walmart.com regarding women's prescriptions for birth control. Your comments and concerns are very important to us as we strive to meet your needs.

Wal-Mart does not carry emergency contraceptives. Our pharmacists may decline to fill a prescription based on personal convictions. However, they must find another pharmacist, either at Wal-Mart or another pharmacy, who can assist you by filling your prescription.

Again, we thank you for your comments regarding this issue.


Customer Service at Walmart.com

This form email in reply to my complaint about Walmart pharmacists who can deny prescriptions "based on personal convictions" (NARAL is campaigning against such practices now).

What kind of world are we living in? I suppose we're heading toward a society where we'll need "Christian Pharmacist" and "Secular Pharmacist" designations. Then, I suppose, your credit card company can decide at which one you are allowed to make purchases, "based on personal convictions."

"Sorry, can't fill your Lipitor prescription! If God means for you to die from high cholesterol, well, you're fucked buddy!"

"No Cialis for you, chum, unless you can prove to me you're only fucking in a Christian manner, using the ordained orifice and the proper position!"

"I didn't see you in Church last Sunday. Until you start attending more regularly, I'm withholding your heart pills."

Perhaps Wal-Mart will allow pharmacists to replace prescribed medicines with placebos when said prescriptions trouble their "personal convictions."

Why not allow all retailers to make similar decisions?

At the Gas Station: "Sorry, muthafucka, we at Exxon don't sell gas to hybrid drivers. Bad for business!"

At Borders: "Yes, I know we stock the Koran, but I refuse to ring up your purchase because I find it offensive."

At McD's: "You're way too fat to be eating this Quarter Pounder with Cheese. I'll only sell you the side salad with Lite Vinagrette."

At Sam Goodie: "Ugh. I hate .50 Cent. You'll have to buy that somewhere else, because I only sell music I enjoy."

At Applebee's: "As a member of PETA, I refuse to serve you because you're wearing a leather vest."

At Movie Time Video: "I find miscegenation morally repugnant--I refuse to rent you White Chicks and Big Black Dicks 11."