Wednesday, September 24, 2008

McCain Jumps Snake River Canyon

I was trying my best to avoid politics but it's simply too much fun. Just in the last two hours I saw three different McCain spokespeople give the exact same response to questions about McCain's decision to "suspend" his campaign and take his aweseme Tiger Shaolin negotiating powers back to the Senate and solve the financial crisis he helped cause by chairing the Senate Commerce Committee.

My favorite appearance of the day (so far) was Orrin Hatch on Chris Matthews. Dude is the best stand-up comic, I tell you. I fell on the floor at several of his quips, but when Hatch said "there's just too much daggum partisanship in Washington" with a straight face my spleen leapt straight out my left nostril I snorted so loud. Orrin Hatch bemoaning partisanship? Ooh, hoo, oh no, I'm losing it again. Ha.

Even better, when Matthews asked Hatch who was to blame for the economic crisis, he said Bill Clinton. The guy can really work old material into his act. We loves those classic jokes, Orrin! Ha, I'm crying.

So nobody with a non-microcephalic brain (and most with) know that McCain is pulling a purely political stunt here, the most ballsy move since Knievel launched a rocket sled over the abyss on national TV. The fact that everyone from his campaign and the Senators on TV are all on carefully crafted scripts is proof positive of that. Just a few days ago the economy was strong according to McCain, and now the crisis is so bad that he can't sit down with Obama for ninety minutes and discuss policy. I'm curious how this will play out. It's the sort of bullshit the gullible love to gobble in the good ole' USA, which is why "jumping the shark" works for failing TV shows.

A lot will depend on the House Republicans too--will those stubborn free marketeers hold good on their promise to stop the $700 billion bail-out, or will they see a chance to boost their man's standing in the polls if they roll over and give him funding for that big fat package.

"It's Clinton's fault!" Terrorism and WMD don't work any more, the economy isn't working, reform isn't working--so let's go back to blaming Clinton for everything. Ha, heh-heh. My stomach hurts.


Casey said...

Nice one.

Anonymous said...

I think the "suspension of campaign" gambit has succeeded in diverting attention from a small scandal. The Nat Enquirer (with new credibility due to their John Edwards stories)TODAY printed the name of the guy (her husband's business partner) that Palin was banging in 1996 - a situation that resulted in the "guy's" divorce. They also published names of people who have given credible testimony to this.

If McCain hadn't "suspended" his campaign (though I'm sure his TV ads will still run) and if there wasn't a convenient crisis to deal with, the current headlines would be filled with Palin's affair.

Nyarlathotep said...

not to mention the front-page Times story this morning--McCain's campaign manager taking $15k a month from Freddoe Mac until last month, and McCain had just said there was no tie there since 2005. Wooops.