Monday, June 13, 2005

The Worst Movie I've Ever Seen

Ok, this emotionally constipated turd of a flick was nominated for numerous Academy Awards--why?! I originally saw it 15 years ago when the only other Allen films I'd seen were Bananas, Sleeper, Take the Money and Run, and Annie Hall. At the time I was mystified by Interiors, but didn't hate it. Now that I've seen Bergman's work, revisiting Interiors was truly painful. It's great that Woody loves Bergman, and wanted to do something in that vein, but this film is egregiously bad. Even Diane Keaton comes across as a rank amateur while succeeding in little more than simply reading her lines.

Previously the worst movies I'd ever seen were both at the same drive-in double feature. Some movie about earthworms eating people called Squirm! and a wonderful little movie about bugs that started fires and killed people whose title I've mercifully forgotten. Porky's almost took the title away, and then Episodes I and II of Star Wars came even closer. I'd never in a million years imagined that the worst film I've ever seen would be directed by someone whose work I typically like.

The worst thing about Interiors is that with a tiny bit of tweaking, Allen could have made a brilliant parody of Bergman. Instead we get a nauseating not-quite-to-the-level-of-student-film hommage that works on exactly zero levels. The only reason I was able to finish watching this movie was my recurring fantasy that Jason would appear and slice his way through the cast with a machete. Alas, only one of these wholly uninteresting, self-involved narcissists dies, and in the most diarrhetic maudlin manner.