Friday, December 15, 2006

Paranoia will destroy ya (but it will help your Google PageRank)

I got a big traffic boost yesterday after Protein Wisdom linked my half-assed conspiracy post.

Having a paranoid conspiratorial reaction is fundamental to my character; I don't actually believe Karl Rove is trying to kill Democratic senators, any more than I actually believe that the Masons planned out Bush and Kerry's presidential race at Skull and Crossbones 40 years ago. I do believe conspiracy theories are fun, however, and support everyone's right to believe whatever the fuck they want.

I enjoyed reading the comments on the post over at Protein Wisdom, where everyone sneered at Lefties and their crazy conspiracy theories, as though the Wingnuts on the Right never engage in such behavior:

Let's see:

1. Hillary Clinton had Vince Foster murdered.

2. Bill Clinton was using National Guard C-130s to fly cocaine into Arkansas.

3. Clinton launched cruise missiles at Osama bin Laden to deflect attention from a semen-stained dress, not becuase Osama was actually a worthy target.

4. The ACLU is out to destroy Christmas.

5. The massacre of civilians at Qada was an inside job.

6. My latest fave: Soy makes you gay.

7. My all-time fave: The media are a liberal conspiracy to turn everyone into secular humanists who drive Volvos and support Dennis Kucinich for president (or, for example: recently 'the media' have been conspiring to make Iraq look like a failure, when it's obviously a smashing success).

I could go on, but you get the point.

Americans at all points of the political spectrum engage in conspiratorial thinking, typically accepting ridiculous theories of those with whom they are ideologically aligned without any skepticism whatsoever, while bringing an intensely skeptical point of view to bear upon the conspiracy theories of their ideological opponents.

I don't mean to disparage conspiracy theories by any means--or to suggest all of them are false. Many are likely true, even if they are not.

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