Friday, December 29, 2006

Ho ho ho

The holidays are a killer, and not simply because of the hectic schedule and the family drama and the overeating. My big problem this time of year is the booze, and this year my big problem is particularly immense. I've cut way back on non-holiday wine and beer consumption over the past couple of years, dipping from heroic guzzling to a more staid and gentlemanly gulp now and again. But between Thanksgiving and New Years' Eve the self-imposed curbs on my enthusiasm for fermented fruits and grains seem to vanish mysteriously.

I've had several drinks now daily for many consecutive days. My brain hurts. My liver and kidneys dislike me. Last night I had a 22-ounce Sapporo* with dinner at Sushi Hana, and I couldn't remember my age when Big Red asked me. I thought I was 38, then 39. I tried to do the math and failed. (I'm 37.) That used to happen when I was in my late 20s. I could never remember if I was 26, 27, 28. What's the difference? I'd think. Of course that was during a period of most heroic drinking as well. Imagine: Four nights a week at Angel's Grotto! After last night's Sapporo I had numerous Smithwick's over pool with Yahtzee. Mmmmmmm, Smithwick's, aaarrrrgghggg.

There's light at the end of the bottle neck. Tonight--the Austin Grill, live music, beer, food with Leesha and Big Red. Saturday I get a reprieve because we're doing something with my parents (a reprieve means some drinks as opposed to several). Sunday, of course, all bets are off, as I typically start off the New Year embalmed with good spirits.

Monday starts the drying out. I don't usually make resolutions, but I'm taking a break from the booze. Unless of course we get invited to parties or a big dinner with friends....

* When the beers arrived, Big Red quipped that if Coors is the 'silver bullet,' then the 22-ounce Sapporo is an artillery shell.

3 comments:

Silenus said...

Go for the 33oz Ashai dude. It's like a bunker-busting bomb and it's only 7ozs shy of being a 40.

Silenus said...

P.S. Word has it that Assburger comes in every single night and tortures The Man. AB asks for you each time too.

geoff said...

33oz--Jeebus help us. That would kill any parasites left in raw fish.

Ah, Assburger. I miss him so.