Monday, March 30, 2009

Day 70

Added to "plucking," "stinging," and "snuffing" is the latest Rumsfeldian craze at the March: "meat checking." This action, which consists of a sharp fist to the male crotch, is particularly disruptive. The victim clocked in the balls inevitably ends up on the floor in agony, with much groaning and choking and "oh man, ohhhh, maaaann, ooh, ugggggh," etc. Of course the rest of the class has to comment, laugh, and point--and inevitably there will be three or four suckers who go down during each period. Bye-bye, 28 minutes of of instructional time per class!

This activity has been around all year, but since it's been given a name now, it appears to be spreading. Unlike with the other forms of torture, no one warns their victim before a "meat checking," as in "I'ma pluck you!" Surprise is important.

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