Dumbass

I was trying to separate frozen salmon patties (sold by Trader Joe's), and was using an extremely sharp knife to do so. I thought "Man, you are going to cut yourself. Switch to a butter knife."

I note that in my life I've cut myself seriously with kitchen knives three times (spoiler alert--this total includes today). Immediately before each injury I've thought "man, you are going to cut yourself," and my failure to listen to my own wise counsel has cost me dearly.

As soon as I thought about switching to a butter knife today, the stubborn frozen patties separated and I drove with my right hand a stainless steel steak knife about a half-inch into the palm of my left hand. I gave myself about ten seconds to shout imprecations before I switched to first aid mode.

Now I have to type a homework assignment without bleeding all over the laptop.

Ouch.