I'm coming home to our house and something isn't right. I open the door and notice that the stairwell has completely collapsed. I look around and see that there are studs sticking through the walls haphazardly, and my living room looks like a set designed by Dr. Seuss, with various levels and stages and strange contrived steps from spot to spot arranged around the walls which curve up and out. I get on the phone to the guy who rehabbed our property and start giving him grief about a lawsuit for shoddy work, but he swears at me in Spanish and hangs up.
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