Oh, god. It's been years since I was hit with food poisoning. I spent last night curled miserably at the foot of the toilet, leaping up at sudden fluctuations of bowel, stomach, or gorge. Often I had to make lightning-quick decisions about the direction of foul fluid, barely situating the appropriate orifice in time.
Those moments when two orifices were engaged at once shall remain undiscussed, except to note I felt like a high-wire act in some Hellish circus.
My stomach felt full of hot brick, my temperature achieved 102 at one point, and now I'm dehydrated and shaky and weak.
I blame a rotisserie chicken purchased at the Hampden SuperFresh yesterday. I may never eat rotisserie chicken again. At one point chunks of it were up my nose.
Needless to say I called out sick and I'm going to try and sleep for the first time since Sunday morning.