Friday, February 01, 2008

Day 99

I write in chalk, originally uploaded by Blog-Sothoth.

Professional Development day. There is a scheduled "health and well-being" event, but we ditch it. Jumping jacks? Um, no. Lukie and I hang in RM218 and write lesson plans about "The Monkey's Paw" and theme, setting, and mood.

Lukie is a presidential history fanatic. She has Bachelor's degrees in writing, history, and political science. She teaches language arts because that's what the City needs her to do, but she's desperate to teach Social Studies. She just started a Master's program at Johns Hopkins in government.

"What homework are you assigning Thursday?" she asked. We're working through our Theme unit on alternate days, trying to out-do each other.

"Think of your favorite movie. What is the theme or message? Explain your answer in three sentences."

"Oooh. Good one. I'm doing one about the TLC song "UnPretty.""

"That's pretty hot. For Monday I'm asking them what they'd wish for if they had the monkey's paw." We chat in between brainstorming sessions. Lukie loves all presidents, and has photos of herself at many of their graves and libraries, including the most recent one, which shows her admiring James Monroe's marble tomb. Her favorite president is LBJ, so I ask if she knew about his giant Texas schlong.

"Of course! He used to put it on his desk."

"One time at a press conference somebody asked him 'Why are we in Vietnam?' Jonshon took out his unit and waved it around and said 'That's why we're in Vietnam!'"

"Yeah. He would follow fellow Senators into the Men's room and intimidate them by standing over them and shaking and adjusting his dick. They would vote for whatever he asked after that treatment."

Mr. Hall, a new language arts teacher, came in. "What are you guys doing?" he asked.

"We're talking about LBJ's giant dick!" she shouted enthusiastically. "Oh, and writing lesson plans."

Two new teachers started today. One is a rookie just out of undergrad, the other was a teacher at a University in Japan for a while and returned to the States only recently. They were scrubbing obscenities off the walls in their classrooms. Poor souls. They look terrified. They were placed at Booker T. and they've heard through the grapevine about what goes on here. We tried to improve their spirits as best we could.

Lukie has been sick lately, with chest pains and sore arms. I was worried about her, and it turns out she's got pleurisy. Since she teased me when I had the gout, I gave her a hard time about her old-timey ailment. We should go get a blood-letting, because obviously our vapours are screwed up.


Loyola Notre Dame Library Reference said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

That stuff about LBJ's dick is awesome! And the rest of your posts, yeah.

The President: Yeah. Now another thing, the crotch, down where your nuts hang, is always a little too tight. So when you make 'em up, give me an inch that I can let out there, because they cut me. It's just like riding a wire fence. These are alllmost...these are the best I've had anywhere in the United States. But when I gain a little weight they cut me under there, so leave me never do have much margin there, but see if you can leave me about an inch from the front of the zipper (at this point the President loudly belches into the phone) ends, right on under the back of my bunghole.

Haggar: All right sir.

The President: So I can let it out there if I need to. Now be sure you got the best zippers in 'em. These are good that I have, and if you can get those come in I will sure be grateful.

Haggar: Right. Where would you like them sent, please?

The President: The White House.

Haggar: All right.

The tape abruptly stops here.


Crap that was posted by the libr ary ref account first. what a post to do that. thank god for delete.