Picselated just dropped by while doing a bit of research, and encountered one of our crazy repeat patrons. He tried to help her with a copy card reader and then told her about the temperature in Periodicals.
"Which one is he?" she whispered conspiratorily to me, and I had only one reply: "That is the Assburger."
He's like the Yeti. Until recently only Silenus and I had encountered him, and we've been regarded with great skepticism when we recount those tales, almost as though we were showing grainy footage of a guy strolling through the stacks in a big furry suit with a zipper down his back. Eskimo saw the Assburger yesterday for the first time, but her sighting has not been confirmed. I took down her account and think it's likely a Close Encounter, but need more evidence before making a determination.
Soon I'll be confined in my own little office in a secure building, safely ensconced and protected from dealings with any form of the public. No more loonies, no more herd.