Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Too old for this shit

The strangest thing happened last night. I helped a Bridget-Jonesish patron with her résumé, and thought vaguely that she was flirting with me as I helped her scan it. Then she asked if she should include some photos with her résumé that a friend had taken because they were "edgy" and akin to the ad work done at the agency to which she was applying. I gave her the standard former-technical-writing-instructor responses, and then she showed me two racy pictures of herself writhing on a sofa and clutching her bosoms in ecstacy.

"We choreographed these ourselves. D'you think I should include them? Or might I be sending the wrong message?"

"Well, what exactly is your intention in sending these glamour shots? Are you hoping for a job or for a date?"

"That's really funny you would call them glamour shots. I suppose it is a bit cheeky..."

This went on interminably--like 45 minutes of not-so-witty back-and-forth. We spoke of London and her background and she leaned on the counter and chewed her hair. I showed her some of Big Red's advertising work, she showed me her campaigns for Eisner Underground, and then I wished her luck with her job search and off she went, only to return ten minutes later and say she'd lost her glove. I think she wanted me to ask her out, but I've not been single in, oh--16 years?--so my interpretation could be skewed. Sorry, Bridget. I'm long out of the game.

The "lost glove" trick though--the second-chance-to-ask-me-out routine?--I've seen that one before.

Silenus was amused, and told me that Bridget was an annoying former student in the Philosophy Department with a bit of a sad past. At one point I'd shamelessly tried to foist her off on him. She mentioned that she often had crushes on English professors, and then said "and at least one Philosophy professor." At that point I brought up Silenus and his association with that particular department, but he knew Brigette and wasn't about to be suckered in.

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