Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Day 6

There are three rules I try to keep in mind as a City school teacher:

1) Never take it personally.

2) Never take it home with you.

3) You can't reach all the kids.

(and unofficial rule #4--don't lose your sense of humor)

I broke or forgot all three (four) of these yesterday, and had a miserable stress-filled 24 hours. I had to do a lot of breath-watching last night in order to get back to the basic truth: I cause most of my own suffering.

When I finally got my shit together I decided to have a glass of wine, and the cork was rotted out and it was my last bottle, so I never got to the wine. I had a good long chuckle over that and felt much better.

So, yesterday--I'll never speak of it again. But today was better. I was back on the horse, banging shit on the walls, rolling right up in young thuggish grills and saying "you got a problem?", calling houses, using my timer, bustin' out rhymes from Biggie's Ready to Die. I will do what I have to do to get respect. I am getting respect from about 60% of the kids now. I won't get them all, but if I can teach some I'll be happy.

I wish you all could meet Gwynn Falls, my most nuttiest 7th grader. She is way too grown for her grade, and is always talking about swallowing sperm and anal sex. I have actual children in my class--we're talking Peanuts characters with braids and beads in their hair--who have to listen to stories about butt-fucking because when I tell Gwynn to stop she flips me off; when I call her parents they say "call the police"; and when I call the police they say "if she ain't hurtin' no one, don't call us." I can't just put her out the class either. So I'm stuck--I can't compete with the ass-fucking stories. Business letter format just don't compare. In fact, if I had a choice as a seventh grader I would have rather heard about butt-fucking--in fact, if I had a choice between a business letter format conference and butt-fucking story conference as a professional development this coming Friday, I'd go to the latter, no contest. I can't compete.

But Gwynn started doing a table-dance strip tease today in last period. The police came for that. She'll be back tomorrow I'm sure.


Designerd said...

to win their hearts and minds, you need to TOP her stories of but fucking. that's the way to win. Whatever SHE tells, YOUR stories have to go bigger.

if ya can't beat 'em...

:) jv

Nyarlathotep said...

Gwynn wields unholy power. My kids had to write raps today to garner attention to community issues, and one couple of girls wrote a rap rhyming "unity and community" that was awesome. They called me over and sang the verse and I told them to write more; Gwynn said "You all is losers chanting that shit" and they tore it up and refused to work on it any more. Sigh.

Nick said...

That's totally crazy. Butt I'm glad to see you back in the action.

Matt Ramsey said...

The above post has been approved by Matt Ramsey.

alicia said...

The other girls are the losers??? If the only thing she has to brag about is getting fucked in the butt, she's the loser. And you should have told her that. She might have a future in porn or prostitution, but the other students actually have a brain that will help get them jobs. 7th grade is a tough time for girls, but they'll learn soon enough she's full of shit.

Casey said...

I'd rather hear stories about butt-fucking than parse the latest copyfight nonsense.

Butt, yeah. Way to stay in the game.