Tired

Insomnia last night. Asleep and deeply so by 11pm following red wine infusion, but up at 3 and unable to quiet the mind. The goldfish nibbling gravel in their tank, the whirring ceiling fan, the dim outlined curtains tinted orange by sodium glare, the spider crawling along the floor by the door, the gleam of Cha's illuminated alarm, the sifting of dust motes, the steady work of internal ducts and valves--all was distraction, all intent on sleep prevention.

Contemplating a career change--meaning contemplating having a career--and had a successful interview yesterday along those lines. Now face a choice: give up a cozy sinecure where work is simple, bland, and unchallenging? Or tackle a difficult job for twice the money and four times the vacation, but with ten times the work and stress? I'm surprised I slept at all. I have to decide by next Friday.

Let each man raise The Self by Soul, not trample down his Self, Since Soul that is Self's friend may grow Self's foe. Soul is Self's friend when Self doth rule o'er Self But self turns enemy if Soul's own self Hates Self as not itself.

The Bhagavad Gita