Book #12 of 2020:

Old Noam still marshalls all the evidence without difficulty. He still maintains his sharp, precise ethics. He paints a dire picture of current situations but never waivers in his belief that there must be hope and optimism.

This book is actually two lecture transcripts a few years apart on the same topic, with an interview with Wallace Shawn and a couple Q&A sessions thrown in. But many of Noam's best books were interviews with David Barsamian. It's a format which shows his strengths, and the choice is clear: internationalism or extinction.

Quarantine Dreams

The stress of teaching online has manifested in my dreams. Daily (nightly) I have bizarre and complicated dreams about school and my students.

Often the classroom has been destroyed and we are trying out new settings only to have students get lost or fall into crevasses, or I spend the dream encountering small groups of my students and I can't find the rest and when I do find others I lose the students I'd found previously.

The current project my students are working on will get a ridiculous additional requirement that nobody can accomplish, and I awake multiple times thinking "That's not part of the assignment" only to fall asleep again and have another anxiety dream about it again and again.

Yesterday I dreamt that my class somehow woke five monstrous giants from the distant past. These began systematically destroying civilization with cudgels the size of train cars. I guided my students to an ancient thick-walled fortification atop a system of caverns and we all got separated in deep catacombs. At one point I thought "well at least the giants can't get us here," only to see through a hole in the wall that human soldiers and police in allegiance with the giants were forming up outside to invade our bunker. I rushed around trying to find my students to guide them out before it was too late.

Sometimes the dreams are of a sort I used to have in high school: can't find my classroom, my schedule is printed in symbols I can't read, my locker with all my work is sealed shut or the combo no longer works, etc.

Strangely, however, I'm sleeping more than I have in years--somewhere around 8 hours a night. This is unheard of. I typically get 3-4 hours. Is it healthier to sleep 3-4 hours without waking, or to sleep 8 waking 3-4 times a night in a panic at some imagined stressor?

And how many more weeks/months of this will we have?

Book #11 of 2020: The Ghosts of Birds by Eliot Weinberger

Back in the mid-90s I read Works on Paper: Essays and loved it so much that I promised I would read more Eliot Weinberger. Here I am nearly 30 years later keeping that promise.

The Ghosts of Birds has a few traditional essays or reviews, but more than half of them are kind of meanderings along a topic with collages of reminiscences or snippets of ancient texts or encyclopedia entries and a bit of comment intermixed. This is reminiscent of Walter Benjamin and his Arcades Project, or Paul Metcalf's works, or maybe Charles Reznikoff's Holocaust poems. One of the traditionally structured essays in here is about Reznikoff. There is a long rumination of George W. Bush and his terrible memoir, and it was refreshing to remember days when we thought "how awful and ignorant is this President?" Others are about indigenous American poetry, or Chinese verse through the centuries, or birds and art about birds. I promise myself again to read more Eliot Weinberger, and hopefully not three decades hence.

La Ley Seca

As part of its coronavirus/COVID-19 strategy, Panama snuck a Ley Seca rule into the mix. This means no booze can be bought or sold for the duration of the crisis.

I'd heard about it happening in the provinces via the Web early this week and bought a few bottles to sock away last Monday just in case the law came to the City. But I've also been considering a dry-out myself for 2020. I haven't done one for a while, and I drink A LOT, and have been drinking A LOT for many decades. A couple months off the sauce can't hurt. (I can say that now without pain because I still have a couple bottles left, LOL).

So after I finish the current bottles of whisky and wine--likely by Sunday--I will be dry. And so will Panama. Meanwhile, I see that back home in the USA booze has been characterized as an essential business. Given what's coming down the pike based on the inaction of the Fed for 2.5 months, y'all will need a steady supply of booze just to read the news. Good luck everyone! And STAY HOME.

The New Normal

Ventured out grocery shopping this morning between my first class and my third period class, during my planning block. First time I went out since Panama went full quarantine. We are now limited to a small shopping window based on the last number of our passports.

I was wearing a hoodie to cover my hair, snorkeling goggles, and a cotton face mask. I'm sure I looked a fright!

My protocol for departure: scrub the kitchen island counter first. Fill the sink with soapy water. Put a basin full of water/bleach solution by the door. Put a folded towel on the floor by the island. Grab a hanky for door handles, picking up groceries and putting them in bags, etc.

At the Foodie two blocks from us, a guard checked my passport, checked my temperature, and gave me a dose of hand sanitizer. As I shopped I touched nothing without a hanky.

Protocol for re-entry: When I returned I left my sandals in the hallway. I opened the door with my elbow. I put my feet in the bleach basin before stepping inside. I placed the re-usable vinyl bag on the towel and stepped on the towel. I washed my hands carefully. I placed the items in the bag on half of the island, then washed my hands again. Then holding them with a rag drenched in cleanser I used another paper towel drenched in cleanser to sanitize each package. I placed items I'd sanitized on the other half of the island. Fruit and sealed plastic or metal containers went directly into the sink of soapy water. After putting all items away I washed my hands again and used the rag and towel to hold and sanitize my keys, wallet, goggles, and credit card. Then I washed my hands again and put those items away. Then I washed the items in the soapy water in the sink and placed them on the counter. Then I washed my hands again and put those items away. Next I stripped down and put my clothes, kerchief, mask, and all towels/rags used on the towel on the floor. I sanitized the handles, bottom, and sides of the vinyl grocery bag. I folded the towel with all clothes and rags inside and threw it into the wash. Then I washed my hands again and sanitized door handles, washer buttons, fridge handles, and faucet/sink/counter again. Then I took a very hot and careful shower with lots of soap--hemp soap, undiluted. Finally, I took a paper towel drenched in cleanser out into the hallway to fetch my sandals, which I put into the storage locker outside. Then, washed my hands again.

My wife suffers asthma and gets bronchitis regularly. I have to take every precaution, and so does she.

It was weird to be outside. Few people, almost all wearing masks and rubber gloves. Very strange and Twilight Zone-esque. How many weeks will this last? Will it ever become routine? Bless those essential folks who are keeping the world turning.

Book #10 of 2020: House of Names by Colm Toibin

I believe my first encounter with Toibin was The Master: A Novel. His pitch-perfect recreation of Henry James was historical fiction at its best, and on top of the deep scholarship and research supporting the novel was a keen sensitivity to James and his emotions and passions and intellect. Where Toibin had to "fill in" gaps in the record, he did so as someone who knew James, and I appreciated that.

Over the past two decades I've read his other novels with great pleasure, as well as perhaps a couple dozen essays here and there (most in the New York Review of Books). Most recently I began reading a biography of Alice James re-issued by the excellent NYBooks imprint and there was Colm Toibin writing the excellent Introduction.

House of Names is something of a departure for Toibin, who typically focuses on one consciousness through which the rest of the action is perceived and filtered. Sort of like The Master himself, I might add, who was a stickler for point of view, but an innovator at the same time. Toibin writes about the Virgin Mary through her eyes only, or Brooklyn entirely from the protagonist's POV. But here we shuffle through different characters and get their experience.

House of Names is drenched with Greek thought and Greek imagery and Greek tragedy and Greek belief. It is also drenched in blood. Clytemnestra is completely aware that she is wrapped in a dark net of Fate, but thinks her actions will free herself and her family moving forward. Alas, that is not the case, as her revenge is only part of the pre-woven fabric. Toibin masterfully guides the bob and weave through this delicious and delirious retelling.

I'm on a roll with these Greek-inspired novels--maybe I should keep it going! We can all use a little catharsis right now.

The Plague

It was about nine or ten weeks ago that my 6th grade students started asking about COVID-19. I told them we likely needed to pay attention to it, but that we should also remember that end of the world predictions happen pretty routinely. I told them about Y2K, and the Mayan Calendar, and various alignments of planets, and other dreadful viruses which all heralded the end of the world over the past few decades. I had, I said, lived through many ends of the world.

And now, I'm starting my 2nd full week of teaching online. I have to scrub all groceries we purchase with alcohol cleansers and then scrub the counters where I placed them for cleaning. I sanitize the door handles and light switches. My wife and I did not leave our apartment for 7 days--this morning we ventured out to the grocery for the first time, and each patron at Foodie was given sanitizer and received a temperature check before entering 2 meters behind the previous patron in line. In order to get outside we have to ride an elevator 54 floors down.

It's impossible to maintain social distance on an elevator with 5 or 6 other people.

In four hours we will be officially stuck here in Panama. All flights in and out of the country are barred starting at midnight for at least 30 days. The US State Department has advised that citizens living abroad shelter in place, avoiding international travel. The government has locked down movement from the City to the interior and the beaches. The pool and other facilities in our building are closed. There is a curfew from 9pm until 5am. All bars and restaurants are closed.

Frankly, I'd rather be in Panama than the USA right now. I have some concerns about societal collapse back home, and think we might fare better here at least for now. The government has been far more proactive here. But despite that, Panama has gone from 1 case to 345 cases in less than 3 weeks.

We have Spring Break in 2 weeks, and had hoped to visit either Guatemala or Cuba. We've been living here for almost two years and have not really explored many new places nearby, with the exception of Cartegena. Now, we wonder if we will be allowed to travel before next school year starts. Presumably our Spring Break will be more sitting around the apartment, reading and looking at the COVID-19 infection numbers?

And will next school year start online, from home?

Book #9 of 2020: The Last of the Wine by Mary Renault

Recently I read Ecstasy and Terror: From the Greeks to Game of Thrones and Literature and the Gods. These sent me spiraling down a path back to the Ancient Greeks. Mendelsohn's book contained an elegant and touching reminiscence about his teenage infatuation with Mary Renault and her novels. This infatuation blossomed into a long-term correspondence with the author. As a result of that essay I read The Last of the Wine, which just happened to be be free on Amazon Prime.

What a timely read, finely tuned to our current reality. There was at that time in Greece a conspiracy of oligarchs to recruit foreign influence in the overthrow of the democratic government in Athens. Sparta was the recruited foe and the oligarchs successfully returned to power with their aid and support. Renault's depiction of the catastrophe is vivid and really captures what I imagine the Greek experience of the world was like. Along the way the reader gets to hang out with several characters we know well from Plato's dialogues.

Now I've moved on to House of Names: A Novel and I'm sure I'll have much more to say afterward. Toibin is a fantastic writer and I've already fallen deep into this retelling of Iphigenia, told from Clytemnestra's point of view. All of this is great, because I'll be teaching Ancient Greece to 8th graders next year and I need to brush up and put my own spin on the material. I'm already churning ideas for teaching the unit. Wonder if I'll be teaching it from quarantine? Toibin's Clytemnestra sees the world pregnant with omen and curse and wonders at the malignant power of her family's blood, but at the same time doubts the Gods are real and wonders how to mollify them and/or recruit them into her vengeful scheme. We all feel disturbing and discomfiting emotions at this time, and the Greeks somehow charted courses through them all for us.

PS: As I was typing this entry the Mrs. came in and interrupted me. I turned around and did a teasing Jack Torrence in The Shining impersonation. She was not amused, given we have not left the apartment in six days due to quarantine.